Lovely weather, family visiting from abroad, friends coming over for dinner, and even an unplanned encounter with friends in the park (the first one since we are in Paris! Yey: we are settling!!) The perfect urban weekend for our little family of four!
Lots of fun and joy, but also plenty of "empty moments." Moments to walk together and say nothing, moments to listen, and moments to just be. Moments when any tension can come afloat. We can talk about it, calmly, and easily smoothen it back to harmony. Entire days, in which my husband and I can respond to every single hug request...with a hug.
Two weekends ago we were in Dubai — just the two of us, our first romantic holiday in more than two years. What a dream! How wonderful to spend some time together and open up to the world. Actually looking at things rather than making sure that we are not driving the buggy into a dog poo, trying to hear our son's words in spite of noisy traffic, checking those cute runny noses and dirty ears. Starting a conversation when we wake up, following its winds and turns throughout the day, ending it with " I love you" just before falling asleep. (Plus I have fallen head over heels with the UAE...but that's another story!). It was also fun for our older son — five days with his grandparents, going to watch the ducks, reading books, singing songs, cuddling, kissing and eating pastries.
But when we came back, something hit him. It feels like he’s been thinking: "How is it possible that Mum and Dad had such a great time WITHOUT ME?" It’s so difficult to get your head around this stuff, even when you are an adult. We can admit it — it is not so easy when your partner comes back from a wonderful skiing holiday and talks about how great it was, even if he does say, "but I missed you so much!" again and again.
There has been a few days of sticking to mummy and not wanting to explore the world, a few days of strange tummy aches that came and went with the mood, and a few days of difficult bedtimes.
After this wonderful weekend, it feels like things were back to the usual trust. He walked off happily this morning at creche, in spite of the crying babies around him. "Anyways," he told me, "if I feel like crying, I will do the dog and I will be happy again.” (The dog is a yoga pose that we playfully practice at home.)
He has learned so much this month:
1. Mum and Dad sometimes go away because they want to do so. They miss me, but they can be happy without me
2. Mum and Dad always come back. They love and care about me more and more everyday.
3. When they are not there to help me, I can always do the dog.
I could not be prouder of our little man!